Monday, March 2, 2009

A Story and a Contest

So I was reading the paper last Saturday, and noticed that there was a Short Story contest for kids under 15. I showed Deanna, who immediately wrote the following story to submit. First prize is $100, and second prize $75. Wouldn't that be great if she won? Also, your story gets published in the paper! And the prizes are awarded at a banquet!
Very exciting!! I sent off her entry this morning. I'll keep you posted if we hear anything....

Goodbye, Chloe
By Deanna Pieterman, age 10

Ten-year-old Heather Sherbert loved to watch birds. Sitting on the porch, fanning her body from the mid-August air, Heather watched a robin fly right into the wall! Heather ran to the bird, picked it up, and took it inside. She was lucky that her mom was a vet. “Mom, can you take a look a look at this robin?” she called.
“Okay, Heather. Where are you?” her mom called back.
“In the kitchen!” Heather replied.
Her mom stepped into the kitchen. “Where is your sweet robin? Oh no, that looks horrid!” she called. Mrs. Sherbert looked like her daughter, with long brown hair and hazel eyes. The robin had only a triangle of red on her stomach. Mrs. Sherbert took the robin, looked it over and said, “It has a broken wing, honey. Let’s put a bandage on it.”
After Mrs. Sherbert and Heather had finished bandaging the robin, Heather had an idea. “Let’s name her Chloe, after our old parrot. We can put her in Chloe-the-first’s old cage and keep her as a pet!” She said.
Mrs. Sherbert agreed and took out the cage.
Heather had kept Chloe for a month now. It was September, which meant school.
One day when Heather got home from school, she screamed! “Mom, Chloe flew away! She’s not here! Help! Mom! Mom!”
Mrs. Sherbert immediately entered the kitchen. “You’re right!” she gasped. “Call Dad and ask him to look for Chloe. Then form a search party. I’ll ask my clients to look for her; a robin with only a triangle of red on its stomach. We’ll find it.”
With tears in her eyes, Heather called her dad and formed a search party. “Guys,” She pleaded “Please help me.” All her friends agreed to help.
A week later, the search party-with four boys and six girls (including Heather)-was walking the streets of London, Ontario. They held a package of sunflower seeds, so they could coax Chloe to come to them if they saw her.
“Look!” one of the girls cried, “it’s Chloe, right there! In that flock of robins! Heather, spill the seeds!”
Heather spilt the seeds but didn’t say “Come here, Chloe.” Instead, Heather Sherbert whispered, “Goodbye, Chloe. Goodbye forever. I love you, Chloe Sherbert. I do.”


PietHarsevoort said...

Nicely done. Descriptive, but not too much. You have a talented daughter, sis.

Lisa said...

She reminds me of John

Anonymous said...

Nice story DJ!!!!!!! If I was The judges of the contest, I'd say First prise!Hope you win. Love, ME ( BETHANY HARSEVOORT)

Maple Ridge Landscapes said...

I can barely see the screen through the tears. That story was so well written I could literally feel Heather's heart break.
Bravo, Deanna Pieterman, Bravo! I see a bright future for you. Perhaps you should ask me about my own published prose sometime, ahem ahem.
Love Uncle John

willowsprite said...

Awww, what a lovely story, Deanna! You've got talent! Good luck with the contest.